A confidence problem

So.

Radio silence on this front for the past little while. Yes, I've been running including my last long run of the program (33k over the last 33k of the Mississauga Course). In my planned outfit of course

It didn't go well.

Peter showed up to run with me as he will be pacing me on Marathon day. The plan we came up with was to run the last 15k or so at pace (5:10/km). This meant starting the pace work after the turn around on Southdown Road at the Mississauga/Oakville boarder. So we (Yan was also with us), started and...

I. Just. Couldn't.

My legs were fine.

My breathing and head were a mess.

Peter gave me some good tips and motivation and him and Yan ran slightly ahead as I did my best to catch them.

Yan, Peter and me at the end of the run. Its never all bad with running friends!

I. Just. Couldn't.

It hasn't been good for my confidence at all.

I'm very afraid that I've bitten off more than I can chew. That I haven't put enough work into this to make the time. And at the same time... what does the time really matter? At the end of the day, I'm going to finish a third marathon. I'm very likely going to run it in a PR time. And?

I've raised $3,600 for Wishes for Olivia in support of Make A Wish Canada.

I think this marathon is already a success.

Regardless of what happens in 9 days.

I'd, um, just like a bit of mo-jo back.

Motivation?

If I run 5.6km/3.5mi every day for the rest of the year, I’ll hit my 600km goal.

Maybe that’ll work.

Back on the ... treadmill

I managed to put another 5k on the treadmill last week on Thursday as planned. I had eaten an enormous lunch so did not need dinner and managed to run at 7pm after a small snack. It was a great time to run because I had no time to relax after work. I’m having a hard time determining how I was able to get so many miles on the treadmill last winter. What motivation did I have a year ago that I just don’t seem to have now?

Sarah and I had originally planned to run on Saturday, but she cancelled due to prepping for her kid’s birthday party (silly gal was trying to do it all). While I should have taken the opportunity to get out on my own, I decided to sleep in instead. I missed any chance to run that afternoon as we had a dinner party that night that I needed to prep for. Sunday was a write off as we went to see family.

In other news, I’m trying to decide if I want to close out 2009 with a race. I’m sure there are a few 5 or 10k’s I could make but I just don’t know if I want to. Even if I could get out for mid-day/morning runs, I do not want to brave the cold. Brr. And yes, I know we’ve had crazy high temps for November.

Ah well. Still trying to get my mojo back, maybe an impending race is just what I need. The plan is to begin ½ marathon training in January so at least I’ll have some motivation then.

Motiva-what?

Sigh. Lately motivation has waxed and waned. It just seems so much easier to allow life to get in the way. Like yummy Indian dinners out with my husband followed by newly discovered cider.

However, I’ve signed up for the Toronto Women’s 5K race and my aim is to PB this run at a sub 30 minute time, officially – natch.

So, that means I’m going to have to get off of my butt.

Train (if you will).

Set a schedule for runs.

This is my plan:

One weeknight run (about all I typically fit in). This must be 5-7k

One weekend run (again, typical). The goal for this should be 10k (har, NOT typical)

One morning run on the treadmill (30 minutes of the hill program). This is net new. This can be done on Tuesday’s or Thursday’s when I don’t have to take my kid to my parents house for care.

Curves visits 2-3x a week (I’m a wee bit over Curves)

Baseball as scheduled

This is the two week plan. Revisions to come July 30th.

I will keep you updated.

I will follow it.

I will PB.

The funk that's been me

I've been in a funk. Quite a major exercise one to be honest. While the past three weeks have seen me head to Curves 8 times (out of a goal of 9), I've only run 10.15km! That's it, that's all. The good news is that 5km of that was outside. Ooooo! One goal down! That was on March 28th. Then tonight (April 6th) I finally got back on the treadmill and could barely, barely get through 40 mins and 5.15km. I seriously thought I was going to vomit at the end. Sigh. I must see this week as one where I can begin anew with a schedule that includes regular running. I signed up for a 5k race on May 9th and I paid $600 for running orthodits, so there is no excuse.

Part of the problem is the 8pm run. My running time is limited during the week to begin with (because I'm not going to spend upwards of 40 mins away from my kid when I only get 2 hours a day with him), and now my husband has broken his hand so I have to take care of many things he used to do (washing dishes, chopping things for dinner, bathing the kid, sweeping etc etc). I guess by the time 8pm rolls around the the kid is in bed and I've done the little chores, I just DO NOT want to do anything other than vegetate on the couch. On the other hand, it is ONLY 40 or so minutes! That is what needs to motivate me! I'll check back in to update my Wednesday when I plan to run again. In the meantime, send some motivation vibes my way, kay?