Here we are.
Nine FREAKING days away from my first marathon.
(a marathon is a distance of 42.2km or 26.2 miles).
I’ve been training since January 1, 2012.
I’ve been training toward a very specific time goal. All of my tempo runs and steady runs and LSD runs have been paced to hit that goal. I ran an easy run :10s slower then the targeted marathon race pace yesterday and it felt fine for 10k in windy conditions. I ran the last 10k of my Sunday 23k run at race pace in windy conditions on paths (much like the end of the Mississauga Marathon) and felt okay. I ran the Chilly Half Marathon at the start of March at a pace :06s faster than my targeted marathon race pace and finished feeling like I could have run longer.
So why am I so afraid that I won’t be able to finish in 4:00:00 (3:59:59)?
Why do I care so much?
Finishing in 4:07:06 (what McMillan suggests is appropriate considering my 1:57:10 finish at Chilly) is still amazing for my first marathon. Why can’t I let go of the four hour goal? Why am I so freaking stubborn?
The thing is, many people have suggested that for my first marathon, I should go in with a goal to “just finish”.
I call bullshit on that goal.
I DON’T WANT TO “just finish.”
I didn’t run over 855km to “just finish.”
I didn’t spend every Wednesday night away from my husband and son and miss bedtimes for my kids on Wednesday and Thursday nights to “just finish." I didn’t run 33km in the freaking cold rain to “just finish.” I mean, I’m going to finish the freaking marathon, so why not go for a goal time?
I just need to get some swagger back, I guess.